Memories sure to last beyond the final curtain
Filed Under Country Curtain | Posted on May 30, 2008
There can’t be many who don’t wish to be remembered fondly after they’ve gone. It’s confirmation that our time on this earth mattered, that we didn’t simply float along on a cloud of self-obsession and trivial pursuits.
Those who are rich enough can ensure their name lives on through the donation of large amounts of dough to a museum, hospital or university. Funny how some of the biggest scoundrels in life often make the most charming benefactors in death. Not-so-wealthy souls can only hope that someone will trundle along to the funeral with a few nice words. It doesn’t have to be much - he always had time for people, he was kind to animals, he never voted Tory, stuff like that. As long as they are said with love, the words themselves matter little.
That rule doesn’t apply in Hollywood, where a sure sign that you’ve arrived in life is that people start preparing for your death, big time. Such is the obsession with celebrity that it only takes one hit, or set of headlines, for obituarists to open a cuttings file. Pollack didn’t have to concern himself with what others said about him once he was in that big green room in the wide blue yonder. He had worked with some of the finest - Redford, Pacino, Hoffman, Streep, Mitchum, and not forgetting Clooney in Michael Clayton - and the Oscar-winning work spoke for itself.
Others opt to have their last words on a headstone. Frank Sinatra’s choice of “The best is yet to come” was an obvious one. Gracie Allen and George Burns went for romance with “together again”, while Bette Davis, tough old bird to the last, had “She did it the hard way”. Spike Milligan settled for “I told you I was ill”. Leaving mourners with a smile on their faces. That’s a class act, too.
TONY Blair is doing a splendid job spreading the word about religion with his new Faith Foundation. Told that one of the architects of the Iraq war is now preaching peace and goodwill to all, the natural response of any right-thinking person is to look heavenwards and cry: “God Almighty!”
PHONE lines at the BBC went into meltdown after Newsnight presenter Kirsty Wark appeared in the evening heat of Cannes sporting a thigh-skimming dress. “This dress is far too short for a lady of her age,” gasped one outraged viewer. Before long, poor Krusty was getting it in the cellulite from all sides. Anyone would think she had stumbled on to the set like one of Viz magazine’s Fat Slags, vomited over John Harris and asked the other bit of skirt on the programme to hold her chips while she snogged Mark Kermode.
I thought she looked wonderful - tanned, fit and fabulously turned out. Alas, for all her book smarts, she was clearly unaware that at the grand old age of 53, flashing a bit of leg is an offence under the Mutton (Wearing Apparel of Lamb) Act. Her critics would presumably have dressed Special K in a hobble skirt, scratchy twinset, and sensible shoes. What foot rot. In a week when the Sex and the City heroines have shimmied back on the screen looking dashed fine, it’s time to rewrite the rules about what makes a winning outfit for women over 40. Basically, anything goes if it’s accompanied by two essential accessories: a beautifully lined bank account and enough confidence not to care what critics say.
BRITAIN’S Got Talent, which reaches its final tonight, has blown the lid on Britain’s secret vice. No, not sniggering at the lovely Amanda Holden’s attempts to move her facial muscles in a natural fashion - it’s doggy dancing. Rare is the pooch owner who hasn’t at some point cut a rug with the Labrador to the Scissor Sisters, or experienced a little Saturday night fever with the King Charles. My only regret is that Kate Nicholas and her collie Gin have found fame and fortune through the pursuit before I could. Hey ho, back to the drawing board and training the monkey to stand for parliament. With his cheek, he’ll have the expenses system cracked in no time.
Tags: bbc, bette davis, class act, confidence, curta, curtain, faith foundation, final curtain, frank sinatra, george burns, god almighty, gracie allen, headstone, michael clayton, monkey, natural response, new faith, old bird, peace and goodwill, right thinking, scoundrels, spike milligan, splendid job, tony blair, trivial pursuits, turd, wide blue yonderRelated posts
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